Living the Dream: While Looking Behind the Curtain

    We want to assume that the majority of people are inherently good and that those people perform the integral duties by becoming the spokes of industry, or corporations. Subsequently making the majority of corporations inherently good.  If you live in today’s world simply observing day-to-day headlines, you understand that general belief is not a pragmatic one.


    I am only thirty years old.  I have not gone to war for my country.  I have not served my country in a governmental capacity.  I go to church. Volunteer on boards in my local community and serve humanity in the best way I know how. Fighting! Mentally sparring in the arena of insurance injustice and inequality.  


    My matriculation came through real life trauma, then subdued emotions, dogged persistence to overcome, sheer determination, alcoholic anesthetizing relief (perceived relief), a secondary trauma jarring my belief in God & good, and then a laboratory environment of learning with analysis being the saving grace-cynicism a plus.


    Law school was of course the laboratory, set in the home of the Allman Brothers and the Oculmulgee Indian Mounds.  The latter being the former in historic terms.  A filtering of those bright, over achieving, contentious and, for the most part, selfish graduates of a four year university.  Those more altruistic, non-confrontational went to medical school.  All the others, escaped the grasps of the constant oil and water analogies and media hyped rivalries.


    The laboratory teaches analysis, subjective thoughts of the objective facts.  Hypocrisy would be a more fitting term for the advertised spring-board to greatness. A confrontation in my second year at the rat lab helped me utilize these great tools of subjective thought when a study abroad opportunity came available only to be denied by my “advisor”.  A further inquiry to the dean of the school indicated the root of the denial didn’t come from the concerns of my furthering education but the flow of my tuition being re-routed to another program for a semester. That simply will not work when the staff of a private law school is being paid so well.  (Hear the voice of the man behind the curtain reign down.)


    It seems I have constantly been exposed to the “man behind the curtain” in my real world experiences.  Life was fine till I realized every day is not a given and 65 is not the age you finally have fun, or enjoy the “Golden Years”.  My financial advisor initially tried to question my mockery of a 401K until he heard my story. Cancer can be a hell of party pooper. As my Aunt Mary K says, “Every party needs a pooper that’s why, I'm inviting you. Party pooper!, Party pooper!” That song always helps take away the demonizing aspect of a leukemia diagnosis.


    A much more light heart ed and fantasy world example of Dorothy looking around to see a tiny old man, would be my internship at Walt Disney World, aka The Rat.  I never was an overzealous Rat lover but those people are minted at Disney.  I worked in the park and stayed at an apartment complex full of similarly aged co-eds, both from the states and abroad.  I met some of the most real people down there and was even in the wedding of one those friends.  However, those grand memories can not extinguish the horrors of traveling within the tunnels underneath the Magic Kingdom and seeing Chip & Dale with their heads off making out with each other on their break.  Watching Cinderella smoke Marlboro Lights.  Eerily enough, observing Mickey Mouse characters with some type of fairy dust on them that cause their eyes to sparkle with more energy and enthusiasm than most male cheerleaders at a slumber party. Scariest thing I have ever seen, outside an intruder at my bedroom window when I was young.  


    As the Tin Man looks for his heart only to realize there is no magic potion or quick fix for the traits we all possess. It just takes a little common sense and some introspect.  Life is frail. It can be taken away in the snap of your fingers.  As I stood by mother’s bed and watched over her during a 6 hour period, her lungs slowly constricted causing her breathes to get shorter and shorter.  Eventually her mortal shell could no longer operate and I witnessed her last breathe.  Her eyes slowly moved upward into her head and that was the finale to a year of her suffering immensely.  Pain so bad I awoke in the middle of the night to hear her screaming at the top of her lungs because the cancer was just eating her.


    This leads to the Scarecrow searching for his brain, a search I have had to make on numerous occasions.  Self-pity had set in on my first round with cancer and I was having an exceptionally bad day when I just flew off the handle with an older gentleman that told me to not let the cancer get me down.  I made the horrible mistake of asking what he knew about it anyway.  He proceeded to tell me of his wife’s death, son’s death, and recent diagnosis he had with the horrible disease.  I learned quickly to never think my life is worse than anyone else’s.  You never know what someone else is going through.


    There is no doubt finding courage for the Lion can be a hard task.  Externally he’s the "King of the Jungle", all fear him and revere his dominance and power.  However, internally he struggles to face everyday life.  We all have felt this if we are in tune with who we truly are. I brave this daily posting my thoughts and writings for all to see.  The hardest and the most joyous thing in the world can be living.   Really living.  Looking at the leaves on a tree and seeing them for the wonderful thing God created with so much life and existence.  If you fail to enjoy the simplest things in life, how can you expect to enjoy the bigger things like your health?


    Then again, what do I know?  I’m just “Living the Dream”.

 

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