Allstate Makes Me an Offer I Can't Refuse

It appears the behemoth insurance company, Allstate, does have some type of consumer conscious after all.  Through my repeated articles denouncing the insurance company for their unprofessional and unethical claims handling:

They have decided to hire me on as a consultant to change their brand awareness. They have offered me a salary into seven figures and 10% of any noticeable increase I can bring through higher premiums, less payouts, and lower defense fees.  Given that Allstate brought in $518 million in net income for the most recent 4th quarter of this recession, business is good!

More importantly they have allowed me the freedom of closing all their outstanding claims for minor wrecks, major wrecks, and anything under $10,000.00 in medicals by extending an offer of 3-4x your medical bills, plus $5,000.00 extra for your patience as they have surely yanked you around in the past couple months.  (For example, if your medical bills are $5,000.00, I can offer you $15,000.00 to $20,000.00 + $5,000.00 inconvenience charge--you choose the value you prefer).

All you have to do to get this settlement is mention to your adjuster that Allstate's new Positive Brand Awareness CEO, Floyd S. "Trey" Mills III said it was okay. It's time to enjoy your freedom and move on with your lives. Let us rejoice with this new conscious of such a formerly evil company.

Best wishes with your settlements on this, the 1st of April, commonly referred to as "April Fool's Day".

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