It could be the sound of a familiar song, the deja vu experience of having been there, or the intuition with having made a last minute adjustment that completely altered your life. Well as I sit and write this article, I do so after having been awakened from a dead sleep to memories of my mother, Patricia Y. Mills, taking her last breathes as our family stood at her bedside on the early morning of September 1, 2003. Six years ago, almost to the hour she passed, I am awaken by memories I knew I would never be able to rid myself of but was not expecting the reminder to be so poignant.
In the past six years I have done some amazing things and I have done some amazingly stupid things. The old adage "two steps forward, three steps back" come to mind. I often wonder with the guidance and advice of my mother if any steps in my life would have changed or been altered for better or for worse. I don’t think I would have the drive that catapults me to the forefront of living my life in such a manner that I try not to look back, enjoy those moments with friends and family, and interact more with real people not engaging in fake, superficial relationships.
There are many things my mother taught me but my fondest quote was given to me when I was distraught over a 11th grade relationship with what I thought was the love of my life. My mom was quite the looker, yet could tear you apart with her eyes and cutting glances. Twenty years as an Emergency Room nurse on the 3rd shift can teach you those innate qualities of dealing with all walks of life. My mother said this:
Do you want to ride the merry-go-around all your life, where nothing really changes and life is always the same OR do you want the roller coaster, where you have your ups and downs but it’s always exciting?—- Patricia Y. Mills
I always chose the roller coaster. It was her way of reminding me to always go for the best life has to offer because most people are too scared, too insecure, or too worried about what others think to take chances. You may not succeed every time but if you are going down, eventually things will go up and always be prepared for the downward ride when things are really high. This week is another reminder that the roller coaster has its ups and downs but it is always exciting.